Liz Harsant for Gainsborough (Division)

Liz has been a resident of Ipswich for many years and a Councillor for 19 years. During this time she was Leader of Ipswich Borough Council for 6 ½ years empowering residents to improve their neighbourhoods and lives. She was widowed nine years ago when her husband Russell lost his long fight with cancer. Liz has two daughters and six grandchildren. Since her husband died she moved from living in her Ward into the town centre (she says they call it downsizing)! Politics has been in her blood since childhood and she enjoys working with residents and tackling issues and concerns that affect their everyday lives. 

Liz on grief

April 7th was the anniversary of my late husband Russell’s birthday and 8th was our wedding anniversary. As seems normal these days I put a lovely photo of him on my Facebook page and was actually amazed at the number of very kind friends who left very touching messages. It made me think about what is inevitable for all of us which is death. Some of us have to face up to it far too soon in our lives with sudden tragedies caused by inexplicable accidents or like me losing my sister at the age of 35 with terminal cancer.
When Penny, my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer it seemed almost impossible to comprehend that someone so vibrant was going to die and to this day I can remember her bravery. But for me and my parents it was devastating. It seemed that we would never come to terms with our grief and indeed my father never did and died of a broken heart sadly never mentioning her name again.
Grief affects us all in our lives. When we are young we often have to face up to our grandparents dying or even one of our parents but the worse, without any doubt, must be the loss of a child – a young life extinguished forever.
So how do we cope? I’m not sure we all do. I always remember visiting Aberfan with Russell – probably about 20 years ago now – and we visited the graves of those children but I was so moved by the parents who had died so young in their 40s or 50s obviously of broken hearts buried along with their children. But we have to try and carry on however hard that might be. When my sister died, the shock was so great (she died within 4 weeks of her diagnosis) that I couldn’t write. You might find that difficult to believe but I couldn’t – the pen just wouldn’t move. With Russell, because he was older and because I knew he was out of pain and anguish, I decided that I had to make the most of the rest of my life. People often say you manage so well, but believe me it isn’t easy. I miss Russell every day and all the fun and love we had in our lives, but I am determined to carry on and hopefully help others in their grief.